One of the most common problems between men and women is that they don't understand each other. That isn't because either sex is incapable. I think it is because people think and act in their own terms; their ways of showing affection are self-oriented. To facilitate communication, I think men and women should learn to speak a language of love.
Speaking the language of love, there is no better example than how Jesus expressed his love for us. To show us he loved us, he gave his life, himself. Because we were unable to act Godly and not sin, he took the punishment: death. He conquered death for us. In return, he asks us to do the same thing; we are to die to this world and be "born again" (like Christ was when he was "risen") and live a new life, modeled after his own. In love, we should give ourselves back to him.
Men and women should learn from this example. When communicating, when showing affection and love, they should start thinking about how they can give themselves to the one they love. Say, for example, I write poems for the person I love, be it a family member, a boyfriend, or a friend. That is most likely because that is how I want love to be shown. "Do unto others as you would have then to unto you." Therefore, if anyone wants to show me love in return, they should try writing me a poem, a letter, or something small like that. Speak my language. And, I should do the same in return. I should give whatever it is the other person needs.
It is said love is not selfish; that is true. But at the same time, it is thoughtful. For many reasons, sometimes people seem to need more than at other times. Loving them, we should unselfishly give ourselves by taking time and understanding what it is they need.
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The following is republished in the comments, but since it goes to the substance of the post, I thought I would paste it here:
The most important thing is, my entry isn't based on expectations of the first person, but the perceptions of the other person. We should be discerning enough to perceive what the other person needs. In fact, if we expect anything in relationships, that is often disappointing and destructive. What I'm trying to say is, in relationships, when showing love and affection, we shouldn't show it in ways we desire, but in ways the other person desires. When I show my family I love them, I do it in their terms (my mom loves to talk, so I listen!).
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2 comments:
People say love is all about give and take, 50-50. I believe, and it has worked for me for the last 13 years, that it's give and give. 100%. Don't ever expect something back. Jesus didn't, yet he inherited the Kingdom of Heaven.
The most important thing is, my blog isn't based on expectations of the first person, but the perceptions of the other person. We should be discerning enough to perceive what the other person needs. In fact, if we expect anything in relationships, that is often disappointing and destructive. What I'm trying to say is, in relationships, when showing love and affection, we shouldn't show it in ways we desire, but in ways the other person desires. When I show my family I love them, I do it in their terms (my mom loves to talk, so I listen!).
I do think, however, that Christ does expect something in return for his sacrifice - he expects that we follow him. If he didn't expect anything, there wouldn't be anything for us to do, not even having an alive, growing faith...which is most definitely the call for Christians.
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